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Ancient Domains Of Mystery, forum overview / General / Lonely

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Guinea
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tWo-HeAdEd cHaOs WeAsEl


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7179 days, 22 hours, 59 minutes and 48 seconds ago.
Posted on Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 02:31 (GMT -5)

Duke I guess you are a bit afraid of girls. Don't say "No I'm not" because I know you are. I'm 17 and I have the same problem ;) I won't tell you how to overcome this cause I don't know how myself.

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BM
Registered user
The Necromancer


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7973 days, 6 hours, 19 minutes and 11 seconds ago.
Posted on Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 03:33 (GMT -5)

Hmmmm propablly we all have this same problem or other problems and then we play in ADOM


"Insect, we care not for thee. Disturb us any we will extingwish thy weak candle of life"
Stas
Registered user
The Dark Lord Melkor


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7862 days, 1 hour, 26 minutes and 26 seconds ago.
Posted on Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 04:35 (GMT -5)

lol! or make our own RPG... to fill the free-time...
Iridia>about "cool" ppl... you're right...the best quality in human is it's brains (the worst:their absense)...

read all thread posts... most of them sounded a bit like me... althought I feel much more hatred and wrath towards most ppl...


"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger"
Lord of The Rings

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will anger the cat lord"

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Archangel
Registered user
The Creator's servant


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7567 days, 10 hours, 18 minutes and 13 seconds ago.
Posted on Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 15:19 (GMT -5)

As you may have noticed from my account, I'm a gospel musician and I sing a lot about this stuff. I just read all the messages in this thread and I must say: smart words folks.

Hmm... I just completed my military service in january. In the army you meet people who you really wouldn't wanna know. Fortunately, you also meet people who want to be your friends. I met a guy who was overlooked by others. I just began to talk to him in appropriate situation and suddenly I realized this guy was different, he was smart. Starting conversation was easy since we had a common interest, music. But we had a big difference: I am religious, he was an atheist. But I really wanted to make friends with him because he seemed to undestand things. Now when I think of it, he was one of my best friends during those 6 months of torture.

Anyway, my point is that I think people can be good friends despite having very different opinions. My advice: always try to make friends, you'll see who wants to be your friend. Don't give up easily, he/she may just have a bad day. Try again later.


I hereby announce that I am more than willing to kill anyone who dares to cross my way
Sengoku
Registered user

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8140 days, 23 hours, 50 minutes and 32 seconds ago.
Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 04:48 (GMT -5)

All you need to make more friends is to have the confidence to be yourself. Potentially everyone is charismatic and have their own magic but it just needs to be brought out by braking down of barriers. That's usually done by calculated risk taking and reflection to learn from what you did, then it's just persistant practice until you solidify your style.

For example, you could go up to a group of poeple you don't know very well and try and fit in, after you may think about what you did as in what things shouldn't you do again, what should you change and what went well. Then try again in a different situation and apply what you learned.
Don't look into it too much though as this gives rise to stress, just see it as adventerous experiments.
I go to nightclubs now and practice chatting up girls fairly often now but I believe I may of been as shy as some of you about a year ago. Everyone has potential but it just needs to be reached out for, the secret is simply to strive in your own way.


Sengoku
Lazy Cal
Unregistered user
Posted on Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 16:24 (GMT -5)

Sengoku: "All you need to make more friends is to have the confidence to be yourself" . . .

. . . and all you need to do in order to survive a game of russian roulette is choose a chamber without the bullet in it -- Easier said than done.

I don't know how to teach somebody to be more secure or happy with themselves, but I can give encouragement. I can't say that one will make more friends if they have confidence in themselves, but I can say that one will be more secure in the friendships s/he does make, and less stressed in social situations.

I think that that was the real goal for me, at the root, when I was younger. I did not want to feel embarrassed about myself nor did I want to feel stressed all the time when I was with people. The fallacy was the belief that if I had lots of friends, I would feel good about myself (or, at least, I would take that as evidence that I could feel good about myself)

The problem is that if I have to work hard to try to be popular, I then have to work harder to stay popular; also, for me, friendship carries a certain level of obligation. In other words, it leads to more stress and work, and if I can't handle it or live up to it, I feel more embarrased and shamed.

I have found that being myself is a lot less work, and, thus, a lot less stress. Another benefit is that, when I am secure with being myself, there is no need to be embarrassed about how people react to me -- it is easier to see it as a non-issue, or to see it as their problem, rather than mine.

[Edited 2 times, last edit on 6/19/2002 at 16:27 (GMT -5) by its author]
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