Ancient Domains Of Mystery, forum overview / General / humor
| Online users ( Unknown) |
| Application object not working properly at the moment, no clue who is online... * Numbers in parentheses are the number of minutes since the user last loaded a page. Logged-in users time out after 40 minutes (unless they manually log out), lurkers and anonymous posters after 20. |
|
Mewto Registered user Last page view: 3606 days, 17 hours, 15 minutes and 31 seconds ago. |
i got these from several sites: Murphy's Laws Of Combat Operations Friendly fire - isn't. Recoilless rifles - aren't. Suppressive fires - won't. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready. & when you're not. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact. There is no such thing as a perfect plan. Five second fuzes always burn three seconds. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard. The easy way is always mined. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too. Incoming fire has the right of way. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat. If the enemy is within range, so are you. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't. Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out. Tracers work both ways. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs. Military Intelligence is a contradiction. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up. Weather ain't neutral. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue. Napalm is an area support weapon. Mines are equal opportunity weapons. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone. The one item you need is always in short supply. Interchangeable parts aren't. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about. When in doubt, empty your magazine. Taken from http://www.mgforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17 For the Horde! |
||
|
Mewto Registered user Last page view: 3606 days, 17 hours, 15 minutes and 31 seconds ago. |
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over. 20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people? 17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job. 16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer. 15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. 14. Bad cop. No donut. 13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you? 12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence. 11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops? 10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds? 9. I pay your salary 8. So uh, you on the take or what? 7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning. 6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me. 4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist. 3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control. 2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum. 1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches For the Horde! |
||
|
Mewto Registered user Last page view: 3606 days, 17 hours, 15 minutes and 31 seconds ago. |
Computer Acronyms -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI - System Can't See It BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months WWW - World Wide Wait PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software's Only (for) Fools (&) Teenagers COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language OS/2 - Obsolete Soon,Too. MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs IBM - I Blame Microsoft ISDN - It Still Does Nothing DOS - Defective Operating System MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis RISC - Reduced Into Silly Code For the Horde! |
||
|
Mewto Registered user Last page view: 3606 days, 17 hours, 15 minutes and 31 seconds ago. |
An anti-osama "joke". go to the link, and click on "Watch This movie!!" Make sure to watch till the end ! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=33641 And yes, the link is safe :p For the Horde! |
||
|
Mewto Registered user Last page view: 3606 days, 17 hours, 15 minutes and 31 seconds ago. |
TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN GOLF AREN'T: 10. Damn, my shaft is bent. 9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk . 8. Bite, you c*&#sucker! 7. Look at the size of his putter. 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more. 5. Mind if I join your threesome? 4. Stand with your back turned and drop it. 3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired. And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty, but in golf isn't: 1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first. For the Horde! |
||
 Armada Registered user Last page view: 1233 days, 3 hours and 12 seconds ago. |
213 things you can't do in the Army http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/rules.php |