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Duke Ravage
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Gravebane Zombie


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5670 days, 24 minutes and 40 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 00:48 (GMT -5)

I need to rant. Life sucks. Much of what I've encountered on this planet lately has sucked as well. So much stupidity, so much rediculousness, but most of all, so much *boredom*. And repetativeness, which only serves to enhance the boredom.
There is nothing to do here. I just went through a full week off for thanksgiving, and not only did it *suck*, it was boring, i did nothing, and i didn't acomplish *any* of the things i wanted to.
I didn't contact the other actors in my play so we could get together and work on it.
I didn't call to reschedule my SAT.
I made a complete fool out of myself when I called to ask a girl out, by standing there and stuttering and trying to figure out what the hell to say.
That's another thing that pisses me off: women. Girls. The opposite gender. Whatever you feel like calling them. You know what i'm talking about.
They make *no* sense whatsoever. I have had them explained. It did not help. I have tried to come up with my own explanations through experience. I have failed.
Chaos is another thing, chaos and chance. I took a chance. I took a chance by putting a note in her locker, hoping she would get it. Well, she didn't. She didn't look in her locker that afternoon. That was friday.
Then when I called I was banking on her having gotten the note. I had done the stupidest thing someone can do in preparation for this situation: i had scripted it. I had scripted it based on her having gotten the note, which she didn't. So i stood there stupidly stuttering trying to figure out how to salvage the situation and say what i wanted to say (which i had done quite well in the note), and failed. So I told myself, well, I'll just call her during the week. No such luck. Coward procrastinating fool that I am, i did not. I kept saying, "Well, just give it one more day." Now it's sunday. Might as well wait for tomorrow when I'll see her at school.
*sigh* But that's not what pisses me off so much.
How is one supposed to tell if a girl likes them or not? From what I had seen, it seemed very much like she liked me. Hence why I asked her out.
Now i'll admit. I'm a blunt kinda guy. I have a hard time being "classy" or whatever. I can be subtle, but it's difficult. In a letter, it's not so hard, but in person that's a different matter. But anyway, being blunt like I am, i like my answers to be blunt, honest, and to the point. I don't care if you have to think about it for a few days. But i'd prefer if you didn't wait forever hoping i'd forget or something, or "play hard to get" or whatever, or make something up so i don't feel bad or whatever. If you don't want to go out with me, thats fine, just come out and SAY IT! Don't make up an excuse like "Oh, my mom said no" or "I can't I have to go do this thing" or something. Just say you don't want to. Or say you have a boyfriend if thats the case.
Boredom. What a wonderful thing that is. There is jack *shit* to do around here. I could go skate... if it wasn't raining. I could skate in town... if i had a car. I could play Magic... if my friends weren't either in town or off with their parents someplace. Ditto goes for some other stuff. Every game in my house I have played to *death*. My music is the same. I don't have the same creative spark I once did for writing; i can't just write on a whim and come up with a story. Programming? Maybe. If i had an idea where I wanted to go with the program.
About the only thing for me to do is wander around the internet, and that gets old too. I've been wandering and wandering all week. I still havn't found anyplace that adequately occupies me for more than about 15 minutes per day, and that's just one site where I read the articles. And there aren't any new ones on the weekends, either.
My internet is crappy, too. It lags like hell if i'm online for very long, or try to do anything "fun", at which point I have to restart the computer in order to be able to do anything. I get booted off at least 2 or 3 times before it finds a stable connection every time i try to connect.
I really ought to be looking into colleges, badly. this is my last year in high school. Yet I have not even looked at a single application for a college, a scholarship, *anything* at all. I haven't taken my SAT. I was supposed to take it at the start of this month. But what I didn't know when I signed up for it was that it was at 8:00 AM the morning after Haloween--a night I spent screwing around doing all kinds of crazy wierd stuff with friends to stave off boredom until about 3 AM or so, which is when we went to bed and the 4 of us talked about all kinds of stuf. It was 4 when we got to colleges, and i remembered the SAT. So I was supposed to reschedule it. Well in order to reschedule, you have to call a long-distance (not toll-free) number. Geuss what? My long distance was disconnected because of a series of mistakes at the phone company. And since it's been reconnected, I havn't called because of a reason I already cited earlier: procrastination. That and bad memory.
Ahh, thanksgiving. Can't forget that. Go to my aunt's house with my dad, have a pretty grand ole' time sitting by the fire listening to them talk and trying to think of something else i could be doing. Good dinner though, I geuss. We get back that evening. Thats when my dad realizes he forgot to prepare a plate for his girlfriend (who is living with us, and din't come--not a people person), who is very, very bipolar. She flipped out. She spent th next 2 days yelling and screaming and accusing us of all kinds of things, breaking stuff, tearing stuff, just generally being very unpleasent. She still is mad at us, though she has calmed down.
School. Another wonderfully fun place to be. Between my F in french and my other likely not-so-awesome grades, I doubt I'm any closer to getting the 3.0 i need for my dad to get me a car and insure me. Last grading period really pissed me off. I needed that damn 3.0. Geuss what i got? 2.95. Can't they jsut round it up or soemthing? Please? Please?
Arrgh. I hate french. I don't mind the language so much. Et je parle francais assez bien, although i can't really spell it too good. But my french teacher is a bitch. She grades stupid, too. If you were in a forign language course, would you expect to learn how to speak the language, or how to copy phrases, come up with opinions, do big projects, and orginize your binder? that's all we're graded on. Oh sure, once a week we do "conversations" where we talk in french. Thats worth a whole what, 5% of our grade? 10%? And if we don't do the big projects, it doesn't matter *how* well we do on the rest of teh work. We could have a 100%, and if we don't do enough projects, the best she'll give us is a D+.
She doesn't even teach the language very well. I speak the language probably better than most at my level, but thats because I don't really follow the curiculum. I dont memorize the phrases and what they mean. I learn the words, then see how they fit together in the phrases they try to teach us to make the meaning they give us. All the teacher has us do is copy the phrases down 3 times then write what they mean. Great way to learn a language, if they only ever use the phrases the book gives you.
About the only "good" thing happening in my life is the PBEM game i'm in. That's fun, I geuss. Although that still is no more than an occasional distraction.
*Sighs* Well, I'm done ranting, I geuss. If you read all that, congratulations. You have more patience for the complaints of others than I. Perhaps you would do well int he complaints departpent of some company.
Feel free to rant yourself. I'll try to show the same patience. I may fail, however.
And no, I'm not looking for sympathy (although I wouldn't object. wouldn't that be rude or somthing? hell i don't know. I don't sem to know much about anything these days.). I'm just ranting to rant, and you, unfortunate readers, are my audience.

*looks back* Damn. I put a lot of typos in there, and corrected at least twice as many as i just said "aw screw it" to.


ivan.sourceforge.net
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Anarchy2
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- Tainted Love -


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7288 days, 16 hours, 46 minutes and 39 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 01:21 (GMT -5)

Aww,come on,Duke.You're gonna break yourself if you keep this up.Just be happy at what you get.

No,I'm not a lawyer. o_o


Fear me not,I'll go nice on you....For now.

[Edited 1 time, last edit on 12/1/2003 at 01:21 (GMT -5) by Anarchy2]
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Anarchy2
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- Tainted Love -


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7288 days, 16 hours, 46 minutes and 39 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 05:40 (GMT -5)

Uhh.Wait,my life sucks too.Right now my parents are trying to pull me from my computer and forcing me to have dinner.Like,damn.


Fear me not,I'll go nice on you....For now.
J.
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You'll never get rid of me


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5671 days, 7 hours, 15 minutes and 6 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 10:33 (GMT -5)

You can edit your post, you know.

That's what I'll do when I feel like ranting next time.

Duke, you got some nice points in there which I can totally relate to.

But you know, christmas is around the corner now and you're supposed to get fucking cheerful like all the other idiots everywhere and dress in red. Hate that, especially when I know half the idiots at the place I have to spend 8 hours a day are trying to be funny and dress up as idiots. They're "special", 'cause our school is for "special" kids. Not special in the sense of retards but it's a school (high school I guess? after elementary/primary school?) specialized in arts and drama, so half the kids are from some god forsaken village of a 100 people. Don't know what I'm doing there, even less what I'm going to do after it in one and a half years. When I get up at before 7 am the sun hasn't risen yet, maybe at lunchbreak I'd se a glimpse of it but it's bound to be cloudy, and when I get off school it's 3-4 pm, sun has set and the only god damn light I'll se is from red christmas advertisments with midgets and santa claus on them looking cheerful and stuff.

Gonna be a great christmas the way things are going now, it's still green outside and has been foggy, damp, cloudy so you can't see the sun for at least two weeks now. It's probably been snowing once this year. Most probably I'll get loads of presents. Or maybe not? Who'd give me any? I'll get movie tickets from my mother and chocolate from everybody else. Maybe some CDs. I'd really like clothes, a new phone with colours cause the old one's broken, a digital camera but like we could afford that. That and I'd also need a CAR since I'll maybe get that licence somewhere around the end of January when I turn 18. THEN all the real shit really starts, I'll be "grown-up" (yeah right) and have to take responsibility of myself. Whoopee.

Oh yeah, sorry, I'm not supposed to complain about anything, 'cause I'm not starvin' Marvin in Ethiopia not having food and drinking water dirtier than my piss. That, and also the rainforests are being cut down and animals are getting extinct.
If you're feeling happy, don't worry, it'll go away.

Originally posted by noob: "I'm everytime amazed how you people know to exploit every single little bug (or not-bug) for elaborated scumming tatics even if the feature seems completely useless or bad."


[Edited 1 time, last edit on 12/1/2003 at 10:37 (GMT -5) by J.]
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Duke Ravage
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Gravebane Zombie


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5670 days, 24 minutes and 40 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 17:43 (GMT -5)

Screw it, I already have a thread started. I'll just keep posting my ranting here.

J., where you live sounds a lot like where I live. Foggy all the time. It sucks. We get rain, too. And as for driving, I already have a licence, but no car nor insurance. Yeah, it sucks.

I'm probably going to rant some more tonight when I get home. Today was not good at all. Sure helped my mood. Now i've got several more things to rant about.


ivan.sourceforge.net
Lamaros
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The sieve


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7175 days, 23 hours, 29 minutes and 41 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 18:04 (GMT -5)

Hrm. This isn't a very positive thinking thread.
Caladriel
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ReGiStErEd UsEr


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4704 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 26 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 18:08 (GMT -5)

Hey Duke. You're a good guy, so if you feel the need to rant, I certainly don't mind listening . . . reading . . . whatever.

The bit about you Dad's girlfriend sounds like it sucks! I have a cousin who is bi-polar. I don't know what I'd do if she was, even indirectly, attached to an authority/foundation person in my life. I'd probably try therapy -- I don't think there is anything wrong with therapy, especially if I had to restructure my life.

I can't really give you any helpful advice, but I can give you sympathy. Re: women -- Believe it or not, it does take experience, but more than 18 years worth. If it makes you feel any better, from what I've learned, they're just as confused, panicked and pressured by us.

You may not believe it, but you are on the right track. I wouldn't call leaving a note in her locker straightforward and blunt, but at least you see that scripting you conversation and hoping to adhere to the script was a mistake. You learn from your mistakes; you are who you are more from your mistakes than your successes.

So how were things today (now that she presumably has the note)? Don't be afraid of acknowledging mess-ups -- Especially when they can't be hidden :-) -- My life became much easier once I realized that everybody (including women who cause my breath to shorten) make mistakes.
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Duke Ravage
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Gravebane Zombie


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5670 days, 24 minutes and 40 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 19:11 (GMT -5)

More ranting:
On women, well, it's good to know that they can feel embarrased and be blunt/honest. Yes she got the note. After 4th period (the only class we have together) she found me and said she felt really embarrased, and that she was already seeing someone. Myself I would have rathered she'd said that at the start, rather than saying "maybe" and giveing me her phone number. I'm not glass. I won't shatter at the direct straight up truth. I'm much more likely to crack if i'm led along and find out the truth by some other means.
Grades aren't so great either. They have been better, they have been worth. Not much to say there. B+ in journalism, B- in programming, F in french, not sure on the others but i'm betting there's at least one D around. Also I'm fairly certain i have an A in drama. Hard to fail that class.
My government teacher is a dumbass. I'm sure at one point he was a good teacher, but I think he's loseing it. For example, a question on the last test was: What is the best term-limiting device? My answer: Public opinion. WRONG. Correct answer: The poll box.
Explain that to me, will you? Yes, i agree, the poll box is the machination through witch someone is voted out of office. But if you have a poll box, what exactly is it going to do? Jack shit. If you have 100 out of 125 people who don't like their public official, what's gonig to happen to him, with or without the poll box? Likely he's not going to be in office much longer. So explain how the poll box is mroe of a correct answer than public opinion.
I had something else to rant about but i can't remember it now. I bet it'll come to me sometime tonight. I'll write it then if it does.


ivan.sourceforge.net
Lamaros
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The sieve


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7175 days, 23 hours, 29 minutes and 41 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 19:25 (GMT -5)

To carry on Caladriel's point about women I'll say the following.

You should never have expectations.

It's fine to fantasise about a romantic situation where you leave some girl a note, then follow it up with a sucessful phone call which ends up with you being together. I do stuff like that all the time, it's fun.

The problem with expectations (as oposed to dreams, fantisies or desires) is that expectations are fixed events. When you act in line with expectations you cease to exist as a real person but become an actor in your own imaginary play. When that play comes off sucessfuly there's no rush, no excitement, because you've been playing a part that you already knew. What's worse however, is when the play doesn't come off sucessfuly.

Depending on your personality the outcome will vary, but in your case you felt out of place and out of control and you had no idea what to do. Now you're worried and stressed with your life because of something that didn't happen, not because of something that did.

It's a common problem but, when you look at it, it's a terribly silly one.

I can't really talk, as I'm not that good with women myself, but realising that the only relevant thing is here and now allows me to losen up and enjoy moments more. When you live in the moment you realise you have nothing to lose and you can relax. It's when you have expectations to live up to that you open yourself up to the stress of failure.

How can you fail at something you've never done? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Thinking too much can kill you.
C<U>
Unregistered user
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 20:17 (GMT -5)

(rambling time) Reminds me of my life (1st post), but everything is broken or doesn't work the way it should. This e-machine sucks, I need to get more ram, the stupid thing is slower than the 133. Something that scares me about school and this town...if I embarass myself badly I can't leave! I honestly want to leave; 4 years p.e. (I need it) and terrible class selection, not only that but the kids...(shudder)after a while they're not chaos spawn, but they're still bad. My dad and mom are too lazy to leave....if I stay here I can't work at McDonald's! My mom always says "Get a Job!" (started working when she was five)and I always answer something like "How can I? There aren't any jobs in this area!" My parents are too lazy to drive anywhere, the nearest normal-sized town is only 20 miles away!
I used to live in a industrial area, before that a med. university area, not with Farmer Jimenz! I know this doesn't sound bad to you, it should smell bad though, all the manure. The kids here don't seem to have heard of CNN or MTV's music videos. (okay back to me) Some little bas**** put ink (yellow) all over my books, sure I have stuff to clean it off, but it;s terrible! The kids seem to bother anyone who has moved into LG, its the strangest thing I have ever seen! All right, I surender on one thing though, the kids aren't as bad as the ones in OK, little racists, classist, just terrible! What I like about big cities is that usually no one is breating down your neck, the people here almost know how many times you wipe your ***, but that's the way it is in small towns.
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Jonesy
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Liberate Te Ex Inferis


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6513 days, 1 hour, 3 minutes and 40 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 01, 2003 at 20:46 (GMT -5)

Ooog. Emachines suck.

IIRC, That thing has a 120 watt power source right? :-).

Get it to 512 mb pronto. Not going to help much, but, what the hey.


"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him."- Voltaire
"Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven."- John Milton, Paradise Lost
"Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love."- Kahlil Gibran
"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."- Voltaire.
"What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist."-Salman Rushdie
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Riibu
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Corrupted Cheater


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6437 days, 6 hours, 1 minute and 52 seconds ago.
Posted on Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 15:33 (GMT -5)

Ah, ranting... hey, my life sucks too.

I'm lazy. I'm failing practically everything at school. I should get a job so that I could actually afford living, but I'm not even looking. I couldn't care less about my life, or anything, because I believe the end of the world is just around the corner, and unlike all those people I know.. I'm sure they'll survive and get to live in paradise, but I sure as hell won't make it.
Why bother living? I'm gonna die anyways. I'm going to disappear out of existence.
I have a bad relationship with all my family, I have no close friends, no one to talk to, I'm lonely, and I think I look like shit.
I have no self-esteem, I'm shy and quiet. I'm a loser and I hate it.

But I don't want to talk about myself. No. Right nom I'm pissed of at the whole US. Those bastards over there had the get in a war while my friend was in the army, so that now he gets send out there. He could die. He probably will, at this rate. He's my friend, I want him to live.
And damned, I hate US period. I hate everything it stands for. I hate it for beig so 'patriotic', so 'wonderful'.
Lately I've been wishing I had the US flag just so that I could set it on fire and watch it BURN!

There. A female perspective for you gents.


*lurkin'*
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Duke Ravage
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Gravebane Zombie


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5670 days, 24 minutes and 40 seconds ago.
Posted on Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 21:54 (GMT -5)

Ahhh, life sucks. Life sucks it sucks it does. What do i have going for me right now? nothing. nada. zip, zero zilch. jack shit. i'm a lazy ass bum, been that way for a long time, and it's high time i changed that but it's not going to be happening. Ahhh, damn.

a few people have tried to cheer me up. i've had people tell me i'm not really in as big a ditch as i think i am... but the problem is that even if i'm not in as deep as i think i am, i'm still down pretty damn low.

i've tried quite a few things. none of it's worked. others have tried some things, to the same result. arrrgh.

i don't know why i' mstill writing. there' snothing for me to write about. life just sucks. i already tried to explain it all above. there's no way i can explain all of it. before, i didn't feel quite so crappy when i was with my friends. now i feel only a tiny bit better with them, only for a little while. by the time they leave i'm feeling worse. usually because somehow, without trying, they've shown me even more how badly i suck at just about everything. lets see. what don't i suck at? acting, i guess. would be nice if i had something to act in, a play or something. sure i'm doing something in drama, but i wasn't able to do what i needed to do this weekend with the other actors because i couldn't get ahold of them. earlier this year i wrote a script for a variety show. great script, lots of people liked it. some couldn't believe i was the one who wrote it. of course, the show got canceled because nobody was trying out for it and most of those who were were coming in with half baked ideas. lets see, what else am i good at? spinning a stick around. ooh, ahh, that's going to get me far in life. that's sure to impress the girls and get me lots of jobs an dmoney. that'll get my grades up, put me in a high end stick-spinning college. what else? writing, maybe. would be useful if i could come up with something to write. hmm, programming. i can program somewhat. thing is i'm bored as heck of it. *shakes his head* i can't really do shit, my life's going to hell, and i feel that there's not much i can do about it.
Riibu, you're not the only shy, quiet, low-self-esteem loser around. i've been there. i am there. at least we have company.
one more thing that sucks: this spring will not be cool. i'm graduating this year. i've wasted most of my high school career, and now it's over. i'm going to graduate (a fact i'm still trying to come to terms with), and i'm going to graduate alone. i have no friends at my school that are the same age as me. all my friends either graduated last year (from a different school), i havn't talk to in a couple years (and go to a different school), or are a year younger than me (hence, will be graduating next year). i'm alone in just about every sense of the word. and it sucks. i hate it.
i've gotten to where i don't even care about the whole war thing. i know, there are people over there dying and it's stupid. i have a couple... friends? aquantances? in the military. and i just don't care. i mean, sure, it'd suck if they died. but i'd probably just go "ah damn, another thing to make my life worse" and besides i dont' even know them very well any more, hardly even talk to them. havn't talk to them in a long time. one of them i try to talk to and he ends up just leaving (online). the other one i saw last week... he hardly even said "hi" to me. bah. i feel like some toy a young god doesn't like any more. or maybe he (she?) never did. in any case i feel like they're just kicking me around, poking all those voodoo pins in me and laughing.

*shakes his head* i'm just oging to shut up now. i don't really have anything to say. i mean i've got lots to say, just no way to say them. believe me, if you were to jump in my head, you'd be pretty pissed at all of existance too.


ivan.sourceforge.net
Riibu (nonlog)
Unregistered user
Posted on Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 22:33 (GMT -5)

I suppose this is as good time as later (or earlier) to say that this thread is actually probably the best I've read in a while.
No, it doesn't make me feel better, but it's so full, you know? Full is good.
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Anarchy2
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- Tainted Love -


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7288 days, 16 hours, 46 minutes and 39 seconds ago.
Posted on Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 22:41 (GMT -5)

Is it time for me to rant yet?YES.

You people make me sad.Bah.So what if life sucks and you hate yourself?LIFE GOES ON.If you feel like kicking yourself,go ahead,I won't mind.But if you want to go on and rant like that,I'm gonna do something.And cry. O_O

What do I have to do to cheer ya up,Duke?Sigh.You just keep on rambling...come on,it happens to EVERYONE.YOU'RE NOT ALONE.AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT FREAKIN' ALIENS.Ahahahaha.

I got to pee.Bye!


Fear me not,I'll go nice on you....For now.
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Duke Ravage
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Gravebane Zombie


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5670 days, 24 minutes and 40 seconds ago.
Posted on Sunday, December 07, 2003 at 23:22 (GMT -5)

so you don't like the thread. so don't read it.
it's going to be hard for you to cheer me up, considering the way you're going at it. i don't know what it's going to take but you're not helping.


ivan.sourceforge.net
Riibu (nonlog)
Unregistered user
Posted on Monday, December 08, 2003 at 01:14 (GMT -5)

Who cares if he cheers up or not? Yes, life goes on. FOR A WHILE. Then it ends :).
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Anarchy2
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- Tainted Love -


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7288 days, 16 hours, 46 minutes and 39 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 08, 2003 at 05:05 (GMT -5)

We'll just have to wait till' it ends then. :D


Fear me not,I'll go nice on you....For now.
J.
Registered user
You'll never get rid of me


Last page view:

5671 days, 7 hours, 15 minutes and 6 seconds ago.
Posted on Monday, December 08, 2003 at 10:51 (GMT -5)

Ladies and gentlemen, let's get rrrrrreadyyy to rrrrrramble!

You could just speed the process a bit and go jump off a bridge. Suicide IS an answer.

But hey, on friday we got sunlight over here for the first time in weeks, and boy aren't we all real cheered up now. >_< Yeah, maybe not.

They ought to just legalize weed and people would really cheer up. Really takes the fun out of it when it's illegal. Well, haven't even done drugs in over a year and won't be doing that anytime soon, so that's not really a big issue. The bigger issue is the high price of alcohol here, they really should lower the taxes on it.

Really, it's no use feeling depressed or something. You just have to pick yourself up and move on, it's not that hard. I'll do so, any day now...

I don't feel down all the time, and I don't have any big reasons why I should. It's just that I don't have any reasons to be happy about.

Sorry, didn't have much to say this time. Have a nice day.
If you're feeling happy, don't worry, it'll go away.

Originally posted by noob: "I'm everytime amazed how you people know to exploit every single little bug (or not-bug) for elaborated scumming tatics even if the feature seems completely useless or bad."
Riibu (nonlog)
Unregistered user
Posted on Monday, December 08, 2003 at 12:26 (GMT -5)

Like my friend says, if I killed myself, I'd only regret it later. Besides, I'd miss out on too many things. I'm greedy, I want everything.

And I happen to like being depressed. I get attention then. I need attention, attention makes me feel good.. :p

Today was sunny too. Around noon, I was walking home and, oh! everything was so clear and nice.

[Edited 1 time, last edit on 12/8/2003 at 12:26 (GMT -5) by its author]
Lamaros
Registered user
The sieve


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7175 days, 23 hours, 29 minutes and 41 seconds ago.
Posted on Tuesday, December 09, 2003 at 01:08 (GMT -5)

Stick twirling?

Get a fire-twirling stick. Women do like a man who plays with fire skillfuly. Interesting women.

My life's great. Broken up with my girlfriend of 2 years and I will probably hardly ever see her again. I'm working at work which is dead boring and tiring. I lost $450 at the casio just this weekend. I'm living at home in a room the size of a shoebox and cannot afford to put my clothes in the room as my cds take up all my space.

But I don't care! I'm loving being single, I am free of alot of hassle and emmotional drama. I'm only working to christmas and after that i'll have heaps of holidays and it's summer. I'll have money to spend. I'm being really social with my friend all the time, have hardly spent a day by myself.. with the exception of days when I work I've been out of the house and doing something every day.
I'm going back to university next year and quitting this working lifestyle, I'm going to be able to relax.

Positive! Positive!

There's nothing really wrong. You just have to take what you have and find some fun in that, not worry to much about what you lack.
Caladriel
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Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 12:34 (GMT -5)

Duke and Riibu:
Well, I'm not going to try to cheer you up. I don't think that that is entirely possible. In order to enjoy life, I think you need an element of faith -- faith in you friends, in God, in your family, in the future, in yourself, etc. -- You don't sound like you're in a place to have faith in any of these. No amount of our typing is likely to change that. You're going to have to look into yourself. Sucks, don't it?
Caladriel
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Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 12:40 (GMT -5)

Riibu: Some things I noticed, though:
Half the time, you are talking as though there is no afterlife, and the other half, you are worrying about being saved or condemned or regretting things after you die. Most readers of this forum know my thoughts on the matter, but, regardless of whether you agree with my actual beliefs, I think most people will agree that it is important to _have_ spiritual beliefs (Even if the belief is that there is no spirit) Perhaps you should explore that more.

You also claim to have no friends, and yet you are deeply distressed that one of your friends has been sent to Iraq. Perhaps you should explore your thoughts. You may find that not all entirely accurate -- That you are beating yourself up out of despair and not on account of circumstance.

You sound as though you are in college. You may not believe it, and this thread may not have convinced you yet, but you are far from the only person who feels this way and finds themself in this state. Why don't you look into what counselling options are available at your school?
Caladriel
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Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 12:58 (GMT -5)

Duke: I know you are coming down on yourself quite hard. For what it is worth, you've certainly struck me as a nice guy on this board. A lot of what you have been going through sounds like it sucks!

*sigh* You may not believe me, but when people say "All things change," they are not lying. They are referring both to circumstances and to ourselves (although I prefer the term "growth" to "change" when talking about the self)

I wasn't kidding when I brought up therapy. Talk to your school counselor or Dad about it. Often, when we are lost, we just can't get outside our heads. It is good to have somebody you trust to whom you can talk. If you're not talking to God, then a trained professional is the next best thing. :-) (and their suggestions/ideas are a tad easier to recognize)
Riibu [nl]
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Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 14:06 (GMT -5)

Do I sound like I don't believe in God? Ouch. I'm actually a Witness... well, my dad is, I've been brought up to believe in that. And I do.

That's pretty much what gets me down. I know it's stupid (and apparently also pointless), but that's just me.

Oh, and college? :D Thanks, but I'm only in high school. Don't know for how long though, if you consider my studying habits. Or scores in exams :/. English is probably the only thing I haven't failed yet.

Well, enough is enough. My life doesn't suck, I'm just sometimes mildly sad about it :/. I'll just leave this topic for Duke. At least he has something real to rant about. I'm just a attention-seeker :p.
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Duke Ravage
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Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 16:04 (GMT -5)

Lol. Well I won't say that life doesn't still suck (because it does) but a few conversations and an email to my ex-gf has made life a lot mroe livable. Monica (the bipolar lady) has calmed down significantly and is for the most part back to normal. I still wish a lot of things were different, but ah well. I'll survive.


ivan.sourceforge.net
Caladriel
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Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 17:06 (GMT -5)

Ex-GF? When did she become an ex?

Glad things are feeling more managable.
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Duke Ravage
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Posted on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 21:40 (GMT -5)

spring. did you think i had a gf recently? or did you not read the post where i mentioned that every girl i've tried for since the spring has either been taken or just plain said no?


ivan.sourceforge.net
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Anarchy2
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7288 days, 16 hours, 46 minutes and 39 seconds ago.
Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2003 at 09:13 (GMT -5)

Meh.


Fear me not,I'll go nice on you....For now.
Caladriel
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Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2003 at 13:40 (GMT -5)

Sorry, Duke, I guess I am (was) missing that bit of your post(s) above. Are you sure you wrote it, or am I just blind?

When you said talking to her made life more livable, I thought that you may have just broken up with her recently, and that talking to her gave you a bit more resolution.
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