Ancient Domains Of Mystery, forum overview / Spoilers / An Adom Play
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Sulangatori Registered user Tourist Last page view: 1434 days, 17 hours, 54 minutes and 27 seconds ago. |
"An Adom-silvernight's maze-nightmare" (based on true events) Characters: Lvl 28 Trollish Farmer: Bors Minotaur Mage: Evangelion Minotaur Emperor RNG1: Mr. Points RNG2: Roger Scene 1: (Minotaur Maze) Enter Bors. Bors: Ah, finally - the Minotaur Maze! The RNG always screws me over when I go hunting for the Minotaur Emperor and his belongings - now however, I come well prepared. I've got my two climbing sets; I've got my potions of cure corruption; I've got my stacks of stomafilia herbs and other food; I've got my wands of teleportation and other useful properties; I've got my healing potions and ring of regeneration; and last, but not least, I've got my great equipment which makes me almost invulnerable. Nothing can stop me now... Exeunt. Scene 2: (RNG-Main Office) Enter Mr. Points and Roger. Roger: Sir. Mr. Points, sir? I bring the most dreadful news! A trollish character has recently made it clear that he no longer fears the elaborate turns of faith we so labouriously contrive and impose on our subjects, and in doing so he questions the very authority of this office. He uttered: "nothing can stop me now". Mr. Points: He said that? Roger: His very words, sir. He also implied, quite blasphemous, that this office, in doing their daily, respectful work, are actually having intercourse with subjects of his own kind. Mr. Points: Quite the impertinent, blasphemous remark, indeed. He flatters himself. Roger: Yes. Shall I fetch his vitals? Mr. Points: That sounds awfully barbaric, Roger, even for this office, don't you think? Roger: His statistics, sir? Mr. Points: Ah, right. Fetch away, Roger. (brings papers) Mr. Points: Well, let's get this over with then, shall we? What's the estimated corruption-gain for his level and time spent in the maze? Roger: His ECG is just above 2, sir - enough to give him quite a beating. Mr. Points: I don't want anything beating in him. It says here he has got potions of cure corruption and plenty of food, as well as healing potions. Now, what corruption could we possibly give him that will cause him to forfeit all these luxuries? Roger: Might I suggest poisonous hands, sir? Mr. Points: Splendid idea, Roger! However, there is still the problem of his wands of teleportation. Perhaps if we give him thorns he will have difficulties handling the wands? Roger: If I may speak so boldly, sir, don't you think that turning him into a living mana battery would suit our cause better? Mr. Points: I dare say it would, Roger! Excellent display of thinking. However, there is the still the question of justifying these actions, not to forget his wide array of excellent armour. How do we go about this? Roger: Well, it just so happens that my good friend Evangelion is down there with him in the maze. If he conjures up a curse, we might get away with it all and still move within the realms of reason. Mr. Points: Ah, good news, indeed. Why do we not just doom him? Roger: Now, now, sir, if I may say, I think we are far too merciful for such an action. Even though we are leading a sheep into a field of thorns we do not cruelly cut off his head - we cut off his feet. After all, we are not barbarians. Mr. Points: Oh, heavens, no! We are nothing like our barbaric subjects from down under, eating anything that moves - or jumps, for that matter. Very well, cursing it is. Do we control traps and equipment destroyed by traps? Roger: Yes, sir. Mr. Points: Good. I think we'll start off with his seven league boots. Roger: Check. Mr. Points: Gloves and headwear? Roger: Check. Mr. Points: Armour and shield? Roger: Artifacts, sir. Indestructable. However, he does have a quite nice spear of penetration we could dispatch of? Mr. Points: 'Zounds! Very well, the spear will have to go then. Why did we make these artifacts in the first place? Roger: We did not make them. The gods made them. Mr. Points: Gods? I thought we were the gods? Roger: Well, technically not, sir. Although some seem to regard us in that way. The gods handle faith, we handle providence. Mr. Points: I would very much like to be a god. Roger: See the sign above the door? It does not say 'gods', it says 'rng'. Mr. Points: Ridiculously nicelooking gods? Roger: Not at all, sir. Its meaning is completely irrelevant, and I doubt if you would comprehend it if you knew its actual meaning. Mr. Points: I believe you are being quite rude, Roger. In fact, I must remind you that you are talking to a superior, and, in fact, if you do not take actions to rein your impertinence I will have you sent to the highest point in Arcadia where not even one of those bloody climbing sets the troll possesses will get you down! Roger: Ah, check. Thank you, sir, that could have been awkward. I apologize my impertinence, sir, but on another note - I think we have it all covered now. Mr. Points: Good. You may leave. And don't bother taking that sign with you. I might not be a god, but at least I am... Roger: Ridiculous? Mr. Points: Nicelooking! Exeunt. Scene 3. (Minotaur Maze - Final level) Enter Bors and Evangelion Bors: Well, well, well. You sure made my quest a lot more difficult, mage. Evangelion: Haha, it appears so, troll. However, I am not entirely to blame in this matter. You are under the spell of other factions as well. Bors: I'm confused. Am I under the Minotaur Emperor? Evangelion: Of course you are. It is one of my specialties. Bors: Being under the Minotaur Emperor? Evangelion: Confusion, you imbesil! Confusion is my specialty. Bors: I don't think you pronounced that correctly. Evangelion: Confusion does not need to be pronounced, it simply needs to be conjured! Bors: No, I'm thinking about imbecile. Evangelion: You do not know what to think. you are confused! Bors: Fine. I'll just wander around aimlessly poking my weapon in whatever I can. Now where did I leave my spear... Evangelion: Probably where you left the rest of your equipment, troll - in that acid trap over there, haha! (Enter Minotaur Emperor) Minotaur Emperor: What a delightful conversation you two are having. I said to myself: 'this must be a high elf and a gray elf conversing!'. Imagine my surprise when I saw the two of you and not a single elf around. Bors: I've come for your axe, Emperor! (They fight and Bors slay both Evangelion and Minotaur Emperor). Bors: Oh, mercy, a potion of strength! No, wait - my eyes must have conceived me, this seems like a potion of poison. I could have sworn... Well, at least I have ten of those now. (Bors disappears behind a corner and immidiately reappears) Bors: Ah, just one more level to go before those sweet, purple rays of sunlight hit my face. I have but one stomafilia herb left, but I made it to the top. My spirit is nearly broken and my future is dim. However, my ring of regeneration stirs the remains of the ashen hopes and helps keep what little fire I have left burning. With this ring on my finger I feel I have a chance in my quest for a safe return. It is not longer a mere ring of regeneration, 'tis the rooster that crows before dawn. 'Tis a symbol of life and hope, and with this by my side I will make it through this ordeal - alive! (Bors walks into an acid trap and his ring of regeneration is dissolved) Bors: Curses! What foul play is this? Must I forever walk these western fields of thorns? You have me down on my knees - you have won. My will is broken. You have won... (Enter Mr. Points and Roger - behind the curtain) Mr. Points: I do say, Roger, that was close. Don't ever scare me like that again. Roger: The ways of the Office are numerous and are not likely to fail anytime soon. Mr. Points: This one almost got away. What if he had found what he was looking for in the tomb? Roger: Let's just say that my friend Eddie the Gorgon owed my a favour should the troll have ventured that far. Mr. Points: I guess it is true what they say up at the office: 'half way through is not half way finished - and anyone who thinks differently are up for a good rogering!' Exeunt. [Edited 1 time, last edit on 9/22/2007 at 13:52 (GMT -5) by Sulangatori] |
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Battle bunny Registered user I'm just that cool Last page view: 5820 days, 8 hours, 47 minutes and 18 seconds ago. |
:D 10/10. (\_/) (o.0) (> <) ( / \ ) Don't click this http://www.mindistortion.net/iwantyoursoul/?i_am=Darkcutter |
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zv Registered user Last page view: 5653 days, 12 hours and 45 minutes ago. |
awesome. |
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Silfir Registered user Writer of Overly Long Guides Last page view: 4061 days, 13 hours, 11 minutes and 49 seconds ago. |
Dito on both comments. Priceless! You drop the golden ball. You kick the golden ball. It slides to the west. Suddenly Harry Potter, the apprentice wizard, appears! "That's not how you play Quidditch! are you even listening?" Which direction? (123456789) 4 Harry Potter, the apprentice wizard, is hit by a bolt of acid! Harry Potter, the apprentice wizard, is annihilated. You hear the ecstatic cries of a large crowd! |
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vogonpoet Registered user Last page view: 4949 days, 20 hours and 23 seconds ago. |
brilliant :-D |